The answer to that question is a resounding yes. A yes and a slight, almost unsure nod. For what does it mean to feel sentimental?
given to or marked by sentiment or sentimentality
Well that was a big fucking help. Thanks interwebst. Let's try that again shall we?
a. characterized or swayed by sentiment
b. affectedly or extravagantly emotional
c. resulting from or colored by emotion rather than reason or realism
d. appealing to the sentiments, especially to romantic feelings
That actually was a help, and now I am positive, that I have indeed been sentimental. So with many thanks for the wonderful cliche of defining words in online blog posts, and without much further ado, I will attempt to explain my sentimentality.
______
Today I cried more than I ever have at a movie.
That movie was the most beautiful movie I have ever sen.
That movie was Benjamin Button.
It was a scene perhaps three fourths of the way through the movie. Daisy's (Kate Blanchet) and Benjamin's (Brad Pitt) love was finally being realized. They were in bed together, Benjamin with his belly facing downwards, his head turned to the side, resting on the pillow, Daisy resting on him, propped up with her elbow on his back. He gave her a look, and she asked, somewhat concerned, "what're you thinking?" He replied, calmly, half resigned, neither happy nor sad at his revelation, "I was just thinkin' how nothin' lasts and what a shame that is." "Some things last," Daisy responded.
At that point I lost it. I knew it had been coming. I knew what happened in the story. I knew how it ended, but at that point, I was so connected to the story, and it was touching me on a personal level that I don't think any other story has, that I began to cry. For the first time during a moving picture, ears upon tears trickled down my cheeks. From that point on, the rest of the movie was very hard to watch without some sort of sadness. And by the time the credits rolled, more tears had worn their path into my lap.
________
This break is the first time I've been home for more than two full days since last August. I guess that's part of the reason I'm flooded with so many memories.
Memories of the fall of 10th grade. September and October mainly. Colors of orange, yellow and red. Fall leaves. Hiking to see sunsets. The downtown mall. Postal Service, Modest Mouse and Muse. A new place. A new school. New friends. My first serious relationship (though not the first important one) in which I could not stop thinking exactly what Benjamin had said so beautifully
That fall was an especially beautiful time in my life. A time that I have many fond memories of. Things I will never forget. Just as miraculous was the spring. A spring of growth. Biking to school through the morning dew. Through the set of Evan Almighty (a movie which I still have not seen.) Secret Garden rehearsals. The cast party. Interpol. Horse back riding. Long brown, silky smooth hair. Perhaps the most important time in my life thus far started April 20th, 2006. Started then and lasted until October 2007. "I was just thinkin' how nothin' lasts and what a shame that is." In October of 2007, I was in my senior year, I was applying to colleges, probably too many. I was in two plays, and had flooded myself with classes outside of school.
One of the ways I deal with sadness is to make myself busy. I made myself steadily busy until the beginning of last summer. But that was only two weeks. Then I got busy again. Busy until now. Until I am reminded. Reminded of what was so special. And I ask myself why I let it go. Why it didn't bother me then. Didn't bother me that we didn't talk much.
"I was just thinkin' how nothin' lasts and what a shame that is."
"Some things last."
Some things last, and I mean to make a point of trying to keep what started as a friendship intact as a friendship before it gets too late.
_______
To always remember.
Remember the blowing hair.
The green trees, falling and growing.
Running water dancing in the rocks, no more than a trickle.
Poison ivy.
Ice cold water.
Sweaty summer days.
Icy winter roads.
A lot of firsts.
A lot of love.
_______
I was going to include some photographs. But this website is being very stupid right now.
2 comments:
Memories are some of the best things we have. It's good to remember, even if it makes us a little sad. But that's why we still have life now, so we can live more memorable times.
You also walked through the set of Longest Yard, didn't you? Hehe.
Not really. I was in a shot on the Taos Bridge, but that ended up only being a 2 second shot, and it wasn't really "set"
Post a Comment